Like the old saying, "you catch more fly honeys with vinegar..." or something like that.
Years ago I had the good fortune of working for a man named John Maria. I have had many bosses over the years, but none had a better fundamental understanding of human nature than John. One day he gave me a book and told me to read it. He said the answer to almost every life problem was found in this book. It was a pretty bold claim, but I did learn a great deal from reading the book.
I pulled out the book recently and read the chapter regarding this topic. The book is called, “Get Anyone To Do Anything” by David J. Lieberman, PhD. While the title is a bit of hyperbole (hence me writing this blog rather than living in Bill Gates’ mansion with Alyssa Milano) there is a great deal of wisdom in it. Dr Lieberman gives incredible insight into human nature and how to use it to your advantage.
In the book, Dr Lieberman makes a very convincing argument that there are two important factors that primarily determine whether or not people like you:
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Tips on improving your Tips 
Nov 24, 2010 @ 12:34:28
I didn’t even know I was using Lieberman’s philosophy and techniques – this stuff just comes naturally to me, I guess. I can do the opposite easily as well.
Once I was at the party of a friend of my husband’s and I noticed a guy sitting away from the rest of the partiers, all wallflowerish. I went over, sat down with him, struck up a conversation and we were soon laughing and talking about interests we had in common. I suggested we join the rest of the group and he agreed.
The host (I found out later) remarked to my husband that I had brought the guy into the fold pretty deftly and my husband said this: “Becky can make you feel at home in a strange place or like a stranger in your own home.” We laughed about it later because it’s very true. It takes some doing to piss me off, but once I am, get outta the way. On the other hand, I’ve watched as I helped people feel totally at ease (we get a LOT of out-of-towners from the hotel next door) sitting at a bar in an unfamiliar city and have heard from more than one of them how friendly our town is, comparitively.
If you want to make someone feel at home, I have two magic words: Lingua franca. It’s the bartender’s best friend. Here’s the definition I refer to, the third from Merriam Webster:
3: something resembling a common language
How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part Three) « Tips on improving your Tips
Nov 29, 2010 @ 09:54:10